19 July 2016

WHY YOU NEVER MAKE IT PAST THE FIRST DATE


Whether you like it or not, men and women are designed differently. Where women are guided by emotions, men almost always follow instincts, which is why in a relationship, both parties are looking for different things. Hence all the possible misunderstandings happening on the first dates.

In case you are the one thinking it isn't going to work and your date isn't worth giving it a second shot with him, then that's fine. A second date could have never happened not just because of you. He could have done something wrong to put you off, too. But what if you liked your companion very much, would have loved to give it a try, but he never called again?

12 potential reasons that could
have sabotaged the second date.

1. You looked "too much". Polished girls scare guys as hell. He might have simply thought he is well out of your league. Try to look effortless instead. Go for an elegant and dignified look, as opposed to outright sexy. Especially that it is very easy to balance on the verge of "sexy" and "vulgar". Remember, less is more.

2. You told him almost everything about yourself. You need to understand one thing very clearly. When the guy sees you off, he has to feel like he found out almost nothing about you. Very little things can be more stimulating to ask you out on a second date. You two aren't in a relationship yet. When things are just developing, it is essentially important to keep the guy interested. And why would he ask you out again, if he already knows even the name of your favourite teddy bear you still like to sleep with at nights.

3. Including all your flaws. We all have some weak points, as well as strong ones, and you probably obsess about them all the time (at least, I do). There is no need, however, to immediately make him acquainted with everything you would like to change about yourself. Firstly, because, he might not notice, secondly, because he might fall in love with those. Give him some time, and subtly focus on your better side instead.

4. You seemed too independent. Women go about being independent and needing no men in their lives whatsoever all the time, yet they consistently try to find a suitable man and keep going on dates. You are a woman, stop being horrified if a guy opens a door for you or helps you take your seat at the table. You deserve it. Be gentle and feminine, let him feel like a true man beside you. Guys go crazy when you make them feel you're going to be lost without then - even if you aren't.

5. You tried very hard to make him like you, and as a result seemed unnatural. If the guy went on the date with you, means he is already interested, relax about it. There is no need to do your best to seem like someone you are not, show off all the time and make him like you. He likes you. Otherwise, he would have never asked you out in the first place. Be natural, be you. Because it is who he is going to fall in love with, eventually.

6. You talked about yourself never asking questions or giving compliments. He already knows you're great, otherwise, he wouldn't have been here with you. Instead of pointing out how cool you are in everything you do, pay some attention to him, as well. Guys enjoy compliments too. Whether he likes playing tennis or growing tulips in his parents' backyard, or he simply has lovely eyes, find something positive and pleasant to say about it.

7. Or, on the contrary, you made it seem like an interview. He is going to feel like he's been applying for a job or answering teacher's questions at the blackboard. Job interviews are stressful, so are exams. If he can avoid this happening to him again, he will. Instead of firing questions all the time, wait for him to tell you whatever he, himself, sees fit to tell you.You want date number two, and preferably number three, and many more to come. You will have lots of opportunities to find out things you can't wait to find out about him.

8. You seemed too keen. You practically let him win without a battle. How boring. You may disagree with what I am going to say however much you like, but you can't make nature go away. Men are hunters. If you gave in without a fight, he most likely will lose interest and switch his attention to something else pretty quickly.

9. You were playing too hard to get. It puts men off maybe just as much as being too easy. Men don't like to bother, especially if you are deliberately giving out "Fight for me" signals. If you're not interested, why should he be? Find a balance. Show a slight interest, make it obvious you would like to see each other again, yet point out you will need to some time to get to know each other before you actually start dating.

10. You'd been hinting too much. Whether you would like to have four children, get married in Bali and you'll be ready to cut off his genitals in case he so much as looks in the direction of another female, keep it to yourself for now. It would be wiser to make sure you two are going to meet up again, in the first place. All in good time.

11. You were being a Snow Queen. You might just be nervous, try to relax nevertheless. Laugh if he attempts to joke, and laugh even if he attempts and fails to joke. He might be very nervous as well. Throw a joke or two, yourself. A little humour never hurt anybody.

12. You wrote him off too quickly, because you had held expectations too high. His car is too simple? He still lives with his parents? Well, maybe he is saving, and living with parents means he is leading more or less calm life. What's wrong with that? Guys feel it very distinctly when they are being appraised. He won't call again, if he senses you are after anything but him, the weighed piece of gold that he is. After all, he wants nothing from you, apart from you. Does he? You wouldn't go on a date with him yoursef, had it been any other way.

Always remember, however, that more often than not, if date number two never happened, you haven't done anything wrong.

It could just be that he wasn't simply interested in a serious relationship - not with you, but in general. He could be the lazy type of guy, who can't be bothered to properly court a girl. And, finally, you two just weren't compatible. Or, could he have just died?

He's simply not there in the scenario of your life, call it a fate, if you wish. Get over him and move on. One day you will meet someone you can be yourself with, who will want you just because you are you. After all, it's better to be alone than with someone who doesn't make you happy. Already after the very first date.

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Share your stories about the second dates that never happened. Are there any other reasons, in your opinion, first dates can simultaneously become the last?
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