18 June 2016


I always advise people never to give advice.
P.G. Wodehouse

Sometimes even mine. Surely people mean good, they really do. Most of the time. More often than not, however, majority of the advice you get, welcome or not, is unhelpful, to say the least. Why?

A lot of advice assume life is simple, and what had worked for one person will absolutely work for another. In reality, though, things are way more complicated. As are people. The problem with all embracing advice is that it forces us to try and improve our lives by the playbook, never taking into consideration that your path is going to be different. There is no universal magical recipe fit for each purpose and for each person. Not in real life, anyway.

Ideally, you would turn for an advice to somebody who had been on the same path you are currently going through yourself, of are about to take. That doesn't mean your experience will be identical. Each of us is a personality consisting of our own past and hopes, our likes and dislikes, experience and habits, desires and feelings.

People initially want different things. One trait most of us have in common, though, is that we all want to be happy, and the right ways of attaining happiness lies only within ourselves. Nobody knows what you need better than yourself.

Just because some ways had been tested and proven countless times by others does not mean it will suit you best, no matter how much wisdom lies in the depths of their meaning.

Some advice do more harm than use. Often advice is given by people who had rarely applied their judgment for their own use. Practice shows that those who give advice left and right, in fact, enjoy the process for the sake of the process. But they don't know what you need, and most likely what they will advise will not be what you actually want. Most of the time it will only make them feel more important.

Sometimes advice is good, undoubtedly. When you turn to somebody you admire a great deal, for instance, and who's experience inspires you. Who might care for you in return. It gives you a new outlook on the situation and allows freedom of maneuver. Often, however, when you are open to a foreign opinion, it might not meet your agenda.

Hence, even when the advice is very much welcome, don't forget to put it through a filter of your own situation, circumstances, experience and wishes. Only then it shall really help you. Because, once again, nobody knows what you need better than yourself.

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